My Happy Thoughts

A mind that's free,
Just being me.
The reality that you can't disengage, retreat
Revelation, transformation
Familiar smells and sensations
Evening walks spent making plans and prose
Holding too much in my head all at once as the creative mechanism that is strung between my brain and my heart buzzes and whirs actively
Black-eyed susans and soft grasses
Bike passes
A group of strangers amasses to watch a duck and her ducklings glide around the pond
It's taken me long enough to choose this path, to explore this way instead of that
Guess I saved it for the perfect night, when that bunny and her little one would be sitting just there
Didn't run off as I approached, weren't scared
Smiling on impulse when no one's around to see
Nearing home, confidently knowing that you've grown-
I grew today.
Summer's not over,
In fact, it's in full-swing
Heat and gentle coolness, but even when Autumn comes
Parades and festivals, the delicate crush of leaves underfoot, the comfort of a light jacket, of crispness, of clearness, and of course
Flights to distant places
To see beloved faces
The promise of something new coming soon

My Happy Thoughts

Doing good work, and seeing the payoff;
Berries, and berries, upon berries and berries.
People who are far away,
Still know my name
Love me the same;
When I think I look beautiful,
When I think I've done well;
Easiness and awkwardness and on top of this a past
That makes something that is less than what it was still worth holding onto.
A new delicate necklace;
And how I'll never forget this
longing though it's reckless
for people and places and things, my checklist
Of passion, of experiences
Think of anything, anyone on it, my heart tenses
I miss her like I knew I should've done all this time
She taught me about freedom.
Cowboy songs, he sings unexpectedly like my Grandpa used to;
The talents of my friends, the way living eventually must end
Motivates me not to pretend that I'll be here, as I am, forever
Rhymes and rhythm together
Feeling silly and mildly clever;
These stars, my stars, on my shoes, and the ones over my bed
Hang across the world above her head, too;
Not knowing exactly what's next, what to do
Overuse of the word "coo'"; Marco, my boo
Friendships that are brand new,
#9, #10, #11,
Blue.

My Happy Thoughts

The smell of grass, intoxicating, blanketing, smile-inducing;
Freshness in taste and sound and smell, all sorts;
A toddler chewing on her stuffed bear's tag;
Robin Hood, Peter Pan, Calvin, Hobbes, The Doctor;
Watching him move after wishing for so long that he'd feel free to;
A boop on the nose;
Pushing buttons, blueberry lemon muffins;
Experiencing others experiencing something I've made;
Spontaneity and sunshine, lightness, her laughter,
Candles and Candy and cricket-song,
Dragons and his swagger,
Pink and black, gold and glitter;
Simplicity, and empathy, catastrophes that aren't too destructive, provide perspective
(like when I drop Goldfish on the kitchen floor);
Cats that play, the present, today,
Unique nicknames,
When he chooses to stay;
The city when it's dark, Roman water fountains and parks;
Valves and slides, coops and hives, cartoon asides,
People who love me and want to be in my life
People who love me and allow me into their lives
Barriers to intimacy that don't thrive, are undermined;
Stars in your eyes, Fenway at night, intelligent, bright,
When a solo goes right,
The well of love I have inside;
Naked arms, naked shoulders, kiss of the breeze, warmth after dark;
The safety of this place, the liberties that I take, the way that Summer tastes,
Faces that he makes.